As summer is in full swing, I reflect on last year at this time and remember the deep depression that loomed over me and how far I've come. You see, from the outside you wouldn't know it.
I had just moved into my dream home, I have a successful business with an incredible team, I have healthy children and a supportive husband, but I was ridden in sadness. No gratitude list was going to pull me out of this one, and in fact, only made it worse.
I thought I had all the tools — think positive, get in nature, be in service to others… but I was stuck. Was it the grief of all the loss that I have witnessed in the last two years? Was it the loss of our epic wellness center that we had been designing for two years? Was it the horrific floods that shook all of us to our core? Maybe all of this piled onto my sadness, but then in conversation with Jason over lunch I discovered it… I shut down my creative side, my dreamer, the visionary inside that fuels every cell in my being. I disconnected from Source, and this is why I was disconnected from Joy.
My history with depression started in nursing school. I was witnessing life from outside my body. I thought something was physically wrong with me. I booked an appointment with my PCP and asked him to run all the tests. I must have brain cancer or something, I thought, as I felt like I was in a bubble during lectures and not really a part of life. He diagnosed me with "situational depression." "What?" Not me, I said. I am the cheerleader, Enneagram 7, Insights Yellow… "Not me." He explained that life is a bunch of zeros and ones, and where typically I am a one, right now, zeros.
I agreed to go on SSRIs, and after trying a couple I stuck with Zoloft to get me through school and the two years after that. Once I moved to California as a travel nurse and life was a consistent "sunny and 85 degrees," I stopped taking the medication.
It wasn't until nearly 20 years later, after I experienced long-haul COVID, that this same feeling of observing life from outside my body returned. This time I knew SSRIs were not the answer, and I committed to doing "the work."
On this month's menu, I will share many healers and guides who have helped me not only find my joy, but heal my chronic low back pain that I have lived with for nearly 6 years now. Enjoy, and happy healing.
Feed Your Brain
Micro-dosing psilocybin for the win. I couldn't stop crying. When those who I knew really loved me asked, "How are you?" I would just weep. I knew this virus had gotten into my nervous system and I was experiencing depression. I was never hopeless, and if you're reading this and you are, please seek a medical professional who specializes in depression.
I had heard of the term "micro-dosing" but hadn't really done the research, so I began. According to the MAPS protocols, I can take 0.1mg every 3 days and have a cumulative response similar to or better than that of an SSRI without the side effects (low libido, numb to life, can't cry if I wanted to, etc.). Also, you will not feel high or hallucinate like you'd typically associate with magic mushrooms.
Sign me up. I began the protocol, and within 2 weeks I was back in body and could have conversations without breaking down. It was a game changer, and I want to share with you the practitioners who will help guide you.
- Jen Zuckerman, NP — @resonate_health
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.iresonatehealth.com
Jen has been a Nurse Practitioner and helps women and men safely wean off their SSRIs to a more natural remedy. - Ileah — www.CozmaPrima.com
Consultations recommended; customized dosages may be formulated for your protocol.
Feed Your Face
Beauty writer Larry Stansbury from New Beauty wrote an incredible article in last month's issue. He discovered, after trying all the things, that his best beauty remedy was REST. (Read the article)
I encourage you to turn your routine into a ritual. Trade discipline for devotion. Take your time and be intentional with your application. Maybe this is the only meditation you're able to prioritize.
Feed Your Body
- Shenal Arimilli — author of Shift, From Cell to Soul, an Austin-based healer who works on the emotional side, and on how doing the deep work can help move energy and, in return, heal the physical.
shenalarimilli.com - John Holden — an LA healer who will help you do the deep work. Working with John, I realized that all pain, and even chronic illness, can be healed by doing the deep work.
holdenhealing.com - Frank Sansalone — Premier Holistic Health, a local therapist who, through Endermologie and channeling your angels, does lymph work and deep tissue massage while using his spiritual gifts — a great combination of physical and spiritual healing.
vagaro.com/premierholistichealth
Feed Your Soul
Analee Ward is a dear friend and confidant. She is as beautiful on the inside as out. Her spiritual gift is connecting you to your loved ones from across the veil. She has helped me, and so many others, in the grief portal as we process our new realities. I know many people fear psychics or mediums from past programming or limiting belief systems, but I assure you she has pure intentions of only providing comfort and connection in your healing journey.
I will continue to share my community of healers to help you better understand yourself and your body. My first healer, Mona Miller, taught me that "you go after your past fears and failures, or they come after you" — in the forms of anxiety, depression, alcoholism, people pleasing, etc. If you feel your body and emotions knocking, don't try to suppress them. Suppression leads to depression… let's commit to doing the deep work. This is how we change the world.
With much love and gratitude,
Brooke
Dessert: Feed Yourself Now
I've been listening to the teachings of Caroline Myss for decades, and she reminds me that energy is never destroyed. Everything we do always exists — therefore every action we choose is a profound choice.
Err on the side of kindness. Spirituality is committing to doing the deep work within yourself.
